Helping Your Child Cope with Grief
We all want to protect our children from the sadness of losing someone they care about. But the truth is, most of them will experience the loss of a loved one at some point in their young lives. What happens then, and what can you do about it? Children understand death differently at different ages, and grieving can take many different forms. But the critical thing is this: whether they’ve lost a grandparent, a parent, or even a sibling, there are steps you can take to make the grieving process more bearable for them – even while coping with your own grief. Join host Dr. Winnie King to meet two families who have gone through this grieving process – one following the loss of a father, the other after the loss of a child – and learn from them and the experts what to expect, and what you and the other adults around your children can do to help.
Guests:
Tricia McKenna - mother who lost her husband, Frank to a stroke
The McKenna Family - Shannon McKenna (11), Patrick McKenna (8), Jade McAuley (18)
Pam Bennett-Santoro - mother who lost her daughter, Paula to an adrenal disease at age 10
Michael Santoro, age 14 - Paula’s twin brother
Phyllis Silverman, Ph.D. MS - Co-Principle Investigator and Project Director of the Harvard/Mass General Hospital (MGH) Child Bereavement Study; Associate in Social Welfare in the Department of Psychiatry at MGH, and Professor Emerita at MGH, Scholar in Residence at Brandeis Women’s Center; Adult support group leader at The Children’s Room; Author of Never Too Young to Know as well extensively published in professional journals
Linda Goldman, MS, CT (Certified Grief Therapist) - Adjunct Professor at Johns Hopkins University, Graduate School of Counseling, and University of Maryland School of Social Work; Author of Life and Loss: A Guide to Helping Grieving Children
The McKenna Family - Shannon McKenna (11), Patrick McKenna (8), Jade McAuley (18)
Pam Bennett-Santoro - mother who lost her daughter, Paula to an adrenal disease at age 10
Michael Santoro, age 14 - Paula’s twin brother
Phyllis Silverman, Ph.D. MS - Co-Principle Investigator and Project Director of the Harvard/Mass General Hospital (MGH) Child Bereavement Study; Associate in Social Welfare in the Department of Psychiatry at MGH, and Professor Emerita at MGH, Scholar in Residence at Brandeis Women’s Center; Adult support group leader at The Children’s Room; Author of Never Too Young to Know as well extensively published in professional journals
Linda Goldman, MS, CT (Certified Grief Therapist) - Adjunct Professor at Johns Hopkins University, Graduate School of Counseling, and University of Maryland School of Social Work; Author of Life and Loss: A Guide to Helping Grieving Children
Tips:
Warning signs, ways to help, etc.:
Providing Information About Death To Your Child:
Resources:Providing Information About Death To Your Child:
- Be honest with your child, but provide age-appropriate information
- Age 0-2: In regard to people they’ve lost, “out of sight” is “out of mind” – but yet, they will feel a loss and demonstrate frustration wit that loss
- Age 2-7: Children believe death is reversible. They also feel they can cause a death – for example, by thinking about it; this is known as “magical thinking”
- Age 7-12: They are very interested in facts. They now understand that death is not reversible; they have beginning of a spiritual outlet.
- Adolescents: They are self-absorbed – in many ways death seems far away – but they can still be deeply affected by it, and this is also an excellent age for taking advantage of support groups.
- Most reactions are normal: fear, anger, guilt, confusion, sadness, sleeplessness, loss of appetite, bad dreams, inability to concentrate, anxiety, impulsivity
- Schools can help a grieving child by: communicating to all personnel that the child is grieving, communicating with the child about the loss, providing safe space where child can go to if needs to leave classroom, making certain not to confuse normal grieving signs with a Learning Disability or ADHD
Books:
Websites/Organizations:
Never Too Young to Know by Phyllis Silverman, Ph.D, MS
ife and Loss: A Guide to Helping Grieving Children by Linda Goldman
ife and Loss: A Guide to Helping Grieving Children by Linda Goldman
Websites/Organizations:
The Compassionate Friends
www.compassionatefriends.com
(877) 969-0010
The Dougy Center
www.dougy.org
(866) 775-5683
Or your local Community Mental Health Center
In the Greater Boston area – the organization featured in the McKennas’ story is:
The Children's Room - Center for Grieving Children & Teenagers, Inc.
1210 Massachusetts Ave.
Arlington, MA 02478
(781) 641-4741
http://www.childrensroom.org
www.compassionatefriends.com
(877) 969-0010
The Dougy Center
www.dougy.org
(866) 775-5683
Or your local Community Mental Health Center
In the Greater Boston area – the organization featured in the McKennas’ story is:
The Children's Room - Center for Grieving Children & Teenagers, Inc.
1210 Massachusetts Ave.
Arlington, MA 02478
(781) 641-4741
http://www.childrensroom.org
